Skimmed

Today after long time of no posting i find it to be time for an update.
Don't get your hopes up, you will not find any yummy loot screenies in this post, nono, today I devote the entry to the real world.. of crime! (insert 'man getting eaten by crocodile' scream here)

So I bought Mario Kart the other day, yup yup, I did it! Well, I placed an order for it anyway and when i buy shit like that over the internet, i usually go pay for it on my internet bank rather then use my credit card, because I'm carefull like that. you know with all those crooks and thugs roaming the internet these day! (damned lolthfs!) aaaaanyways, so I log on to my internet bank and check my account knowing that I have roughly 7k swedish (~$1 250) on there... but I do not?! oh no, instead ive got a brand spanking big fat old ZERO staring back at me. So I stared back at it, then I blunk and proceeded to perform the most magnificant display of fist shaking a man could ever hope to lay eyes on in one lifetime. Then I payed for Mario Kart using my savings account (untouched puh!) and went onwards with my investigation.

It seems that somebody in Canada has access not only to my cardnumber, but also my PIN-code. and that's just frikkin scary. There were 5 withdrawals made from the ROYAL BANK of whatever and talking to vaiio, (and today my bank) it turns out that's a canadian bank.
Having defined the crime a bit more, I now feel rather good about the fact that it was not a case of me beeing sloppy with my cc-number on the internet.
But how they got their hands on my PIN-code.... god I wish I knew that.. 'cause that shit's just frikken scary.

So today I went to the bank expecting a 2-3h sit down and a good yelling at for beeing careless and whatnot.. and then another 2-3h at the police.. but it all actually only took like 10 minutes at the bank, and I had my money back!
Not only that, but I was also informed that the theft had allready been reported by the banks monitoring system, a new cc had been issued and was allready on it's way to me, and I'd be recieving a letter soon on the topic from bank manegement... or sumthn.
All I had to do was sign a couple of papers and that was it.. feels weird, good but weird..

So there you have it.

/Nahgas, victim of skimming.

Ninjaschool

 "Water is formless, shapeless. When you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. Be like water."

- Bruce Lee

Oh you don't say bruce? well how about this quote? "You're dead you little Chuck Norris wannabe, sure, you had nice pants, but you're dead." Oh that's right, you can't reaply because you're dead, haha, tough luck.But then again, that is what happends to a simple master of Jeet Kune Do. If you REALLY wanna become a walking, talking, mean, lean, killing machine, you shouldn't actually be talking alot - you should become... a Ninja.
The reasons are several:

1. Ninjas have the best looking clothing.

Like Johnny Cash used to say: "It doesnt matter if you're in a church or a whorehouse, black will always be appropriate."

2. Ninjas have humor.

What other type of warrior sits at home working their asses of filling a small egg with black pepper to later on crawl through wet jungles, swamps and trenches just to tottally unexpected be able to jump out from behind a curtain busting the egg infront of his victim so it stains really annoyingly much in the eyes before ramming the katana through his chest for the kill before vanishing in the dark. Why? Simple, for a ninja, just killing the enemy is not enough. He wants to be able to sit at home afterwards, laughing about the fact that the last chain of  thoughts that went through his victims head was: Shit, a ninja! What, an egg? Ouch WTF!?  .... and then, death.

3. Ninjas get laid all the time

Just think about it. You're in the bar with a 22-year old girl with enourmous knockers from Albany (TX), buying her Liqourice shots and she asks you what you do for a living. *score* You smirk, and lean forward to whisper in her ear: "I'm a ninja baby, Follow me home and I'll show you a few tricks with a velvet rope and you can touch my kuji-kiri." Badabing - guaranteed to work.

So, if it wasn't for the fact that ninja means "little girl" in spanish, everything would be perfect- It's funny to be a ninja, and everyone should get to try it out, therefor I feel that it would be fun to educate my readers, train you to become the mean, lean, killing machines by participating in my ninjaschool. I promise, follow these guidelines, and within months, you'll be kickass motherfuckers. People will look at you with respect and fear, and you'll get all the pussy you can take. Or, like the ninjas themselves usually say: "You're legacy is to serve the needing, protect those in danger, and streangthen the weak. You're lead is Nin-po, the silent way to get your will done without action. Your pay is spiritual growth and an active part of the greater plan." You also get a blow pipe with arrows - how cool is that!?

Ok, so how do you become a kickass motherfucker ninja? well, first of all there's a few basics you'll need to learn. they are:

Jump forward

Jump backwards

Jump left

Jump right

Jump high

Jump low

Roll forward

Roll backwards

Roll left

Roll right

Kill people

As you've probobly noticed, a ninja does quite a great deal of jumping and rolling, so I thought we could begin with an excersice to perfect these skills. We're now gonna learn to scare someone, Ninja-stylee.

1

This ninja is standing behind a bush, sneaking up on a IRS representative who rang his doorbell light that night in the middle of the World Cup semi-final that the ninja despirately wanted to watch. To make it easier for you pupils, I've edited the picture and removed the bush.Suddently the ninja throws his hips in the desired direction.

2

At the same time he pushes with his back leg while lifting the front one. Keeping the jump as low as possible so he gets maximum momentum in the sideway movement instead of jumping up and down. The move starts off by the legs and the hips, bringing the torso with it. Avoid throwing your shoulders to start the movement, and resist the temptation to whack your heels together shouting "Hep!"

3

Steadidly he puts both feet on the ground when he lands.

4

assume killer position (crest of the twin tailed hidden monkey stance)

5

It's slightly more badass with a huge katana or similar in one of your hands, but your cool ninja clothes should be enough to scare the shit out of the IRS representitive.

Next time: Mokutonjutsu (the using of trees)

edit:
I apologize for killing the english language in this post.

xmas emo

Hey gang.

I guess this is gonna be a bit emo, so if you're not to keen on that, just hit that back button.

Ok, so for those who didnt do that thanks, and here's the post: It's xmas, wow, yea, cool huh. last year about this time, It took me like 30 mins to walk to work because of all the frikkin snow, and it was like that all friggin winter. this year however, I've got yet to see a thicker layer of snow then the lenght of my nails (not that long, and not that deep).
But there are more diffrences that I'm gonna write about that separates this xmas from the last one. for instance, I'm feeling lonely now. One year ago, I had moved to this town like a quarter of a year earlier, I was just getting hooked up with my new job, new apartment, getting everything in order, shit was basically coming together quite nicely for me. then, sometime after xmas, spring-ish. A new girl started working, we started talking more and more, and eventually we started seeing eachother outside of work aswell, by the mid sommer celebration we considered ourselves a couple and last week, it ended. I never felt lonely before I met her, and obviously not while she was moved in here, but the seceond she walked out that door last week... damn, yea, just damn. I'm somewhat happy it's over, I still care for her alot, but I think it'll be better this way, so it's not all bad I'm not gonna go drink a bottle of whine and then /wrist in a hot bathtub dun't u worry that's not what I'm saying. I'm only trying to define the loneliness that I'm now feeling. I never had a g/f for a very long period of time, but I feel I got used to it very quickly, and now she's ... gone. sort of left a hole in my apartment u know, the feeling that's something's missing.

So yea, withthat happening, I've kind of lost all xmas spirit, and had to go a bit crazy today, buying all gifts b4 shop closes. took me 30 mins, I feel a bit proud.

After Xmas I'm gonna buy a Wii, and Zelda, and there will be much joy.

feel I'm not done with the post but I ran out of things to say so merry frikkin xmas and a happy new year.

One week ago Famster and myself was unleashed upon an island, thanks for making it so awesome mainly to Simon(Manic) and Rob(Insomniac/Sheerhope) for taking the week off of work to get absolutely sweded. And also a warm round of applauds for Dave(Jayaloanien) for enduring a day.

I'll give sum more info on the trip later, and sum reflections on the land in general, but for now that's it.
Cheers.